that's why god made escort agencies

OK so let me explain you a thing that just happened

Mel and I each signed up for a free special offer deal thing on a computer booth thing and of course I put in my real name and then I got the free offer for a whisk and we went up to the centre management and were like “can we have a whisk” and there was a whole selection and colours to choose from and everything and SHIT man :D

I mean, I like to think the whole thing was a subversion of Tyler’s character because he’s so anti-establishment and would probably hate to have his name on a ‘freebies’ voucher card that’s gonna be delivered to his house, but it was really just a story about getting a free whisk


Favouritism ahoy! No, but really, we love Charlford the most. Freddie’s just overexposed and far too mainstream these days. Harvard gets an honourable mention. Millie and (I want to say Donut*, but I know that’s wrong because it starts with ‘M’ as well and holy shit what’s WRONG with me :O) were complete recluses/paparazzi shy and as such have no 5-page spread in PlayBoy.

*MUFFIN! Please accept my sincerest apologies, although I do get bonus points for knowing it was some kind of confectionary… yum :D