that's why god made escort agencies

zephryan:

Artistic and whimsical timez in Melb with Stefan! Gettin him hooked on coffee aww yeeeeaahh

Pictured: handsome dude who bought me a latte. Not pictured: 10 y/o child in background trying to breakdance to LMFAO, but having to stop regularly for a puffer break. Overall verdict: super fun happy times!

Urghhhhhhhhhhh just got home after a long-ass day of working 3 hours longer than anticipated, 4 hours of which was spent in the back room tidying shit to the nth degree and simultaneously juggling three friendship/external attempts at a relationship crises. All on 3 hours of sleep. But NOW I get to sit down with some authentic German goulash to watch the finale/reunion of Drag Race: Season 3 (yes I already know who wins, you boogers)! Also legitimately forgot to put the camera on self-timer, definitely not a model.

A human doggy ba- Ohhh, you’ve never heard of a human doggy bag?
Well, you see, it’s that thing of when you get a midget to eat the rest of your meal at a restaurant, then you take him home and poke him in the stomach whenever you want a snack. So, basically… Alicia Silverstone.

current faves

giving you holy goddamn I am so fucking defeated right now it physically hurts deep down inside my stomach oops is that an ulcer developing realness

You’re looking at the newest employee of Dangerfield in the QVB… that’s right, I officially got the job today and I start in just over a week’s time!!

I can’t even begin to describe how excited I am to finally be rid of that last job after 3+ years of hard work and dedication for very little reward, here’s to moving on up in the world \:D/

I’m real cute, I’m from Miaaaami *clicks* I’m real cute and pretty. My name Jaaaaasmine and I from da house o’Libretto. ????????????